Technology & Computers

A million seconds is 13 days.  A billion seconds is 31 years.  What a difference a few zeroes make!

There are 10 kinds of people in the world:  those who understand binary, and those who don't.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. (Rich Cook)

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. (Arthur C. Clarke, "Technology and the Future")

Friday, we had a tornado drill.  There's a PA announcement: "This is a tornado drill.  Please move quickly away from all windows."  Somebody yelled out: "Quick, get to a DOS prompt!"

Murphy's best friend was a computer.

Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename"?

Want to make your computer go really fast? Throw it out the window!

USER, n.:  The word computer pros use when they mean Idiot. (Dave Barry)

I'd love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.

If you can't make it good, at least make it look good. (Bill Gates)

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. (Mitch Radcliffe)

Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months. (Clifford Stoll)

I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image. (Stephen W. Hawking)

One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. (Elbert Hubbard)

A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it about. (Douglas Adams)

The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately to defeat him. (Russell Baker)

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. (Albert Einstein)

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

My computer is so fast. Before yours can boot up, mine has already crashed three times. (Bill Jones)

There's no speed limit on the Information Superhighway.

Don't byte off more than you can process.

It's okay to act SCSI every once in a while.

We used to have lots of questions to which there were no answers. Now with the computer there are lots of answers to which we haven't thought up the questions. (Peter Ustinov)